DANGEROUS BOOBIES Breaking Up With My Time-Bomb Breasts By Caitlin Brodnick Seal Press. 243 pp. Paperback, $16.99.

‘Dangerous Boobies’: One woman’s experience ‘breaking up with’ her breasts

Growing up, Caitlin Brodnick knew that people in her family tended to die young of cancer. She didn’t know why.

Later she learned that many in her father’s side of the family carried the BRCA1 genetic mutation, which suppresses tumor growth. At age 28, the budding comedian found out that she, too, carries the mutation. This meant Brodnick had an 82 percent chance of getting breast cancer in her lifetime. It also increased her chances of getting ovarian, colon and pancreatic cancer.

This is the same prognosis made famous by Angelina Jolie. Like Jolie, Brodnick decided to have a preventive surgery, in her case a double mastectomy followed by reconstruction. Also like Jolie, Brodnick chose to make her health issues public.

Though she is far from an A-list celebrity, Brodnick became something of a YouTube sensation when Glamour magazine documented her experience in a 2013 series called “Screw You Cancer.” She also incorporated the whole experience in her standup comedy shtick.

Now Brodnick has come out with a memoir, “Dangerous Boobies: Breaking Up With My Time-Bomb Breasts.”

The book is highly accessible — like an extended conversation by text with your chattiest, funniest girlfriend, the one who gives you church giggles and who never forgets a birthday, complete with plenty of comments ALL IN CAPS and lots of bathroom humor.

[Can cancer ever be funny? Comedian Caitlin Brodnick thinks so.]

Brodnick is as self-deprecating and oversharing as you would expect that friend to be, often to the point of making you wonder just how much her husband, Allen, knew beforehand that their sex life, his appreciation for her breasts and their overall relationship would be splashed all over the page like the frozen chardonnay and 7UP cocktails she would drink before she got sober.

In other words, the book is intentionally flippant and salty throughout. The idea, one assumes, is to connect with the women who might be facing the same diagnosis and wondering, terrified, what they can do. It’s not for everyone. Then again, when I started making little marks in the book whenever I laughed or chuckled, the pages became tracked with little black lines.


A perfect example: “It’s always a gamble when you ask me, ‘What’s new?’ Get ready to hear about the fart that woke me up last night.” If you think that’s TMI, go to the part where she and her husband attempt intercourse for the first time after her surgery. Truly ROFL.
“Dangerous Boobies,” by Caitlin Brodnick (Seal Press)

But other moments bring the reader face to face with Brodnick’s fears and anxieties, which are enormous and sometimes overwhelming. Will her honesty make women considering preventive surgery feel assured or terrified that they would also be prone to passing out in their doctor’s office or entering depression, as she did? Perhaps. As the actress Rachel Bloom writes in the foreword: “As you read Caitlin’s book, I hope that you reevaluate your relationship not just with your boobs, but with your lifeline.”

For those who are not Angie, this book could be that lifeline. “I’m not good at budgets, miniature golf, or handstands, but I am a great friend,” Brodnick writes. “As your friend, not only will I tell you everything you could ever want to know about the breast cancer gene and choosing new boobs, but I will also hold your hair back when you are sick, hate your exes without meeting them, and never speak of that one night in Greece.” There are days when we all could use that friend.