A Woman in Amber: Healing the Trauma of War and Exile Paperback by Agate Nesaule (Soho Press)

The émigré/exile path is fickle one often steered by minute variables such as where one finds himself when the bombs drop, or which side of the shifting tides of battle one is on , or how the politics of the day flow. Age, escape travails, accompaniment, which displaced person camp, what country of emigration, and the luck of the draw in sponsorship, all result in profoundly different destinies. Some escape unscathed, while many, do not. There is no one generic narrative to fit them all.

I happen to be a post homeland Latvian born in a Regensburg d.p. camp who with his family ultimately found himself growing up and living the American dream.

A Woman In Amber is the courageous exposure of experiences, thoughts and interpretations as viewed through the eyes of one child, the author, savaged by the Eastern European experience and in adulthood sifted through in retrospect. This is a cathartic examination of short and long term reactions to barbarism. One should not expect a clinical dissertation of historic events from a young child undergoing the horror and savagery described. The author is astute and honest enough in understanding the complexities of childhood memories to openly even question her own. She does so through a transparent sharing with the reader of the internal onslaught of fantasy, reality and fiction as they meld and unfold within her, not only at happening but in the lingering torment throughout her life.

As the author shows, the damage perpetrated upon Latvians did not end with the closing of the camps and debarkation to "better shores". Latvian's wounds have proven themselves to be more lasting than time, the melting pot, and even streets paved in gold. Her unveiled exposure reveals the virtual impossibility of healing such wounds, guilt and dysfunction and their perpetuation upon one's children. Though many within the Latvian exile community might scoff, muttering reassuringly how truly fine they are now doing, they do so still entwined in their own imposed opacity and continuing refrain of "it could always be worse".

Given the return and unfolding of democracy to a brutalized and emaciated Latvia and the approaching demise of many of the original emigree's, their own begrudging hindsights reaffirm that escape and abandonment of their homeland was more a matter of no alternatives rather than the long held mantra of betterment. Their outward trappings of possessions, titles and successes belie their lifetime's disappointments of unfulfilled hopes, dreams, and aspirations for homeland and children. Without question, a large majority of Latvians would admit that had not their homeland been invaded and no attempts made to exterminate it's population, the exodus would never have happened.

A deeper understanding of the impact to my generation will become clearer as we, those with one foot on each side of the Atlantic, near our own death-bed honesties. Towards this, there is much to be admired and I dare say loved about the Latvian heritage. Yet conversely it must be understood that the totality of the Latvian legacy, especially including the WW 2 debauchery, that it's children are culturally born and tethered to, is certainly no lighthearted novel and has lasting consequences. It is a legacy that continues to burden and divide those under it's grasp from whatever broader community and normalcy they find themselves in.

I personally thank the author for her courage, dedication and shared self introspection. It is a lifetime's work that few would dare. Her insights on her relationship with her family and the Latvian exile community in general are very useful for me because they have opened a doorway to a better understanding of my parenting. I have come to learn that my experiences were not as unique as I formerly believed. They also have caused me to reassess and enumerate how many, sadly, from my little slice of that community lived in quiet misery and met ignoble ends. But more so I thank her for her exposure of personal inner quandries as to who she is, where she belongs, and now with a modicum of understanding, what should be the path for the rest of her life. For these are questions many children of the exiles have and still grapple with, alone in their own silences.

I believe this is a very valuable book for anyone coming to grips with the loss of their homeland and an understanding of the exile experience. Perhaps even more so for their friends and neighbors among whom the exiles have tried to forge a new life.